Bereavement – There is No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve

“Have you lost somebody you care about? Are you overwhelmed by your feelings? Perhaps you feel as if you can’t talk about your loss anymore with friends and family and feel alone with your grief”.

The Grief Cycle

There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve and there isn’t a fixed order in which we move through the stages of grief. Grief is not linear and how an individual responds to their loss is unique to that person.

In therapy we talk about the different stages of grief with clients, but we can oscillate between the different stages all the time and sometimes feel as if we are getting worse or going backwards when in fact this is part of the grieving process and totally normal. Kubler-Ross suggests that there are five stages to the grieving process:

  1. Denial:  In shock and feeling numb. We don’t want to believe what has happened.
  2. Anger: When we realise that what has happened has happened and that the change is real our denial changes to anger.
  3. Bargaining: We struggle to find meaning. We bargain to find a way out of what is happening to us. We reach out to others and tell our story.
  4. Depression: The reality of the change sets in and we feel overwhelmed, helpless, hostile and wanting to run away from what is happening.
  5. Acceptance: when we realise that the change to our lives isn’t going to go away we start to explore our options, make new plans and think about moving on.

The above provides a framework for grief and can be helpful in supporting us to make sense of what is happening and normalising our response to our grief. Speaking to a professional will provide you with the space to get in contact with your feelings, experience your emotions and express them.

How can Bereavement Therapy and Counselling Help?

When we lose somebody we care about our lives change and processing our grief and adjusting to a different life without that person can feel too much to deal with on our own. The emotions that we experience when we lose someone can feel powerful, frightening and all consuming. This can mean that we choose to suppress these emotions for fear that they will engulf us and we would feel out of control.

Speaking to a therapist and talking about your thoughts and feelings in a safe, contained and holding environment will enable you to work through the pain of your grief and process these powerful emotions. This will help you to adjust to an environment in which your loved one is missing and find a way of still feeling connected to that person while embarking on a new life.

Would You Like to Talk to Me?

If you would like to hear how my experience and training in bereavement therapy could help you, please get in touch using the contact page.

Areas Covered

I have appointments available in Bromley, Sevenoaks, Orpington, East Grinstead and Tonbridge.

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